FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
