I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize