i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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