I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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