i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize