Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
