Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't turn off my feet"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
