I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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