Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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