just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
