you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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