I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
