I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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