Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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