I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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