This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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