Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
