I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
