I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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