Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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