he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
