How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
