I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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