so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
