So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
