I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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