Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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