11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
