I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
