His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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