Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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