She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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