I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
