Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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