hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will pee on everything he values.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
