A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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