How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
