I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
