He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
