He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we made out on top of his cat.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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