Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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