Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my shit smells like andre
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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