Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
