Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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