we're blogging at a bar
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
