Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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