He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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