I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
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I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.