I faked an abortion last night.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.