He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.