Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
