thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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