Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
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I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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