Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
