hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
