Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize