What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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