the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
