I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
