Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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