I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
