I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my poor anus
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize