...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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