Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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